Minus 1 Loud
by Sonson-Sensei
Summary: No Such Luck AU: As people we live and learn from our mistakes, but some mistakes are too grave to make in the first place. The Loud Family will learn this lesson the hard way. My take on what would have happened in (No Such Luck)


**Alright, it's been some years but I'm back in the game. Let's see if I can knock this rust off with a Loud House story. First off the reason I decided on this story, was because after "No Such Luck" I needed an outlet to vent my frustration with that episode. So I decided to take that scenario and hit it with a tad more realism. From my understanding there's quite a few stories based off of that episode. I haven't read any myself so any similarities you may find are coincidental.**

 **Having said that, let's get down to business.**

 **Chapter 1: Bad Luck**

Goosebumps, the body's way of telling you that perhaps you should put on a jacket. Unfortunately for Lincoln Loud that wasn't exactly in the cards at the moment.

He stared up at his once welcoming abode, the one he was currently locked out of. The house was a modest two story home, although in desperate need of maintenance. 'Bad luck', was there even such a thing? A few days prior, the notion of such sounded every bit ridiculous to him as the Easter bunny. Then there was Lynn, his sports junky of a sister. She not only believed in bad luck, she accused him of being such. Lynn and her softball team The Squirrels had lost in the most hilarious fashion. Of course he was blamed, directly or indirectly was anything ever not his fault? Now he was labeled as bad luck. His family had been convinced of the nonsense entirely, thanks to in no small part of his own doing.

Some me time, was that too much to ask for? Apparently so for the price he was currently paying for that me time, was sleeping in the backyard with his dog. His eleven year old body shivered once again as the brisk spring wind assaulted his skin; his thin PJ's doing little to protect him from its onslaught.

'Don't they think this is going a little too far?' Lincoln wondered while failing miserably at getting comfortable on the moist grass beneath him. "Damn it's itchy too." He grumbled to his dog, which only ignored his ramblings.

(SMACK)

"And these mosquitoes are merciless," Lincoln shouted in righteous anger, having slapped another one of the little blood sucking annoyances into oblivion. "They could have at least given me the keys to Vanzilla," Lincoln said with a crestfallen expression, knowing he was in for a long uncomfortable night.

 **The Following morning**

The Loud Family minus one Lincoln were performing their morning routines, which meant the Loud House was currently living up to its name sake.

"You do it!" Lana shouted, glaring daggers into her girly counterpart.

"No way, you do it!" Lola protested.

"No chance little miss Barbie doll!"

"Hey Wreck it Ralph, who do you think you're calling Barbie doll?" Lola said while rolling up one long pink glove threateningly.

"Maybe I'm calling you one," Lana fired back as she cracked her knuckles in preparation for a showdown.

"What is it you two ignoramus's are shouting about this time?" Lisa interjected showing little patience for the twins bickering.

"Someone has to take Lincoln his breakfast," Lana explained. "And it's not going to be me," she added.

"And me neither." Lola agreed. "I'm not catching his bad luck."

Lisa sighed heavily. "Why did I ever let myself be drawn into such foolery?" Lisa said, adjusting her glasses. "Honestly I should have conducted the proper test before jumping to conclusions."

Lynn leaned over her chair to stare at Lisa in total disbelief. "But you saw what happened at my game."

"Oh hush Lynn," Lisa retorted. "Statistically speaking your team was bound to lose a game." It was a simple matter of probability that Lincoln was there to witness the inevitable."

"The inevitable?" Lynn challenged. "Me and my girls were cleaning house all season, nothing short of the worst luck in the world could have caused us to lose like that."

"This is why science and superstition don't mix," Lisa reasoned. "Upon further investigation, I'm sure I could uncover a perfectly reasonable explanation for Lincoln's sudden case of bad luck."

"Yeah like maybe he faked it all." Leni chimed in with a simple shrug before returning to her own breakfast.

Lynn laughed at Leni. "Come on, like Lincoln would fake all of that bad luck stuff."

Lisa slapped an open palm to her forehead. "Of course he would, how didn't I see it before?"

Lynn took a swig of her orange juice before stating. "Little Einstein, I don't follow you."

"Hadn't you realized that Lincoln's bad luck only made its presence known when one of us would try to invite him to an outing?" Lisa explained. "It was a mere ruse to get out of going to said event."

Lynn raised a speculative brow. "Now that I think about it, Lincoln really didn't want to go to my softball game, said something about wanting some time to his self."

"As I thought, we've been duped." Lisa said as she made to grab the food Lola and Lana were determined not to deliver to Lincoln. "Now I'm off to deliver our brothers morning sustenance."

"His what?" Lola and Lana say in unison.

Lisa rolled her eyes, 'What would I give for at least one more intelligent life form in this house.' She thought irritably. "His breakfast."

"Hey dudette, where are you going with the grub?" Luna asked, catching Lisa before she left through the back door.

"To where Lincoln now resides."

Luna was confused for a moment before realization hit her. "Oh yeah, we made him sleep outside," she said while rubbing the back of her head with a guilty grin on her face. "That's pretty harsh now that I think about it."

"Well we couldn't have him sleeping in here," Lori interjected. "He's bad luck; I mean I could have woken up with a zit or something."

Lisa stared at Lori impassively for a moment. "I have no more brain power to allocate to this piffle."

With that Lisa left the kitchen.

"Who are you calling a piffle?" Lori shouted after Lisa before turning to Luna. "What's a piffle?"

Luna merely shrugged. "Beats me dude."

Lisa adjusted her glasses as she scanned the backyard for any sign of her brother. "Hey male sibling, if you're within hearing distance of my voice, I ask that you reveal your location."

No response.

Lisa cocked her brow. "Perhaps he's already left for school?" she pondered before returning inside their home.

 **Sometime Later**

Lincoln couldn't recall the last time he'd felt this horrible. His chest ached every time he coughed, his stomach felt queasy as if he'd hurl any moment. He laid his head on his desk trying to keep the world around him from seemingly spinning. The insistent laughing in the classroom didn't help matters.

"Why's everyone laughing?" Lincoln grumbled.

Clyde looked at Lincoln with an uneasy expression. "Uh Lincoln, I don't know how to say this but why did you come to school in your pajamas?"

Lincoln looked down at his attire. No shoes or socks, just his nightwear he had on. "No choice, I was locked out of my house all night." Lincoln answered, his voice sounding extremely nasally. "My family thinks I'm bad luck, so much that they don't want me close to them at all."

Clyde scratched the top of his small fro with a pencil. "Did I hear that right? You were locked out of your house all night; because your family thinks you're bad luck?"

Lincoln nodded tiredly. "Yeah brutal right?"

"Brutal, dude that's savage," Clyde reasoned. "I mean you could have caught a cold or…" he paused as he studied Lincoln carefully, taking note of his sweaty face and damp clothes. "Man you're really sweating it out in here," Clyde said as he moved his hand and pressed it against Lincoln's forehead.

"Whoa, you're burning up man." Clyde raised his hand to get their teachers attention. "Mrs. Johnson! Mrs. Johnson!"

Mrs. Johnson massaged her temples soothingly. Class hadn't even started yet and the eccentric boy was already putting her patience to the test. "Calm down Clyde," she said. "Let's keep an inside voice."

"It's Lincoln he's he's…"

"Yes I know, he still wearing his pajamas," Mrs. Johnson said with a dismissive wave of her hand.

"No I mean…"

Before Clyde could finish Lincoln threw his hands to his mouth but in vain. The contents of last night's dinner erupted spraying out of Lincoln's mouth like a shaken up soda bottle. Unfortunately for Clyde he was on the receiving end of Lincoln's puke geyser.

Gross! Kids shouted as they moved away from close proximity of Lincoln.

Clyde could only stand in shock at what had just happened to him.

Mrs. Johnson covered her mouth in surprise and disgust. "Oh dear" she said as she made her way over to Lincoln. "Lincoln why did you come to school today, you look…" She grimaced, "terrible."

Lincoln swayed back in forth as he tried to stand. "I'm, I'm..I'm.." he trailed off. The room was spinning far too fast for him to make sense of anything.

"Sit down Lincoln, you're not well, I'll have the nurse…" Mrs. Johnson never got to finish for Lincoln had fallen over like a jenga set, landing face first on the hard tile floor with a loud thud.

 **Meanwhile**

"Next" Lynn said, having dispatched another kid in a game of tetherball. The kid grumbled some incoherent things under his breath as he trudged back to the end of the line. "This is just too easy," Lynn stated.

"Well your next game won't be so easy."

Lynn raised a brow. "Oh if it isn't our friendly neighborhood tough girl, Ronnie Anne. You ready to get washed too?"

Ronnie Anne removed her hands from her pockets. "Hey jockstrap, don't let go beating all of these lames go to your head."

"Hey!" Some heavy set kid tried to protest, stopping the moment Ronnie Anne shot a fierce look his way.

"Like I was saying," Ronnie Anne continued. "I run this playground, and tetherball is my game, not yours."

Lynn grinned, "That's where you're wrong. If there's a ball involved, it's my game, end of discussion."

With that Lynn launched the ball and struck it towards Ronnie Anne with power not fit for such a small framed girl. Ronnie Anne blocked the incoming ball, and sent it back Lynn's way with equal force.

"That all you got?" Ronnie Anne jeered. "Your lame-o brother hits harder then you."

"Like that's believable," Lynn said as she returned fire. "Speaking of, you haven't seen my bro have you? Classes haven't started yet, so I thought he'd be hanging on the playground."

"Uh no, I haven't seen him, but didn't he come to school with you and the rest of your sisters?" Ronnie asked curiously.

Lynn shook her head no. "He was long gone before we left the house. And funny thing is if he's here, that means he came in his pajamas."

Ronnie only looked more confused with that statement. "I don't get it, why would he be here in his jamz?"

Lynn sent the ball back Ronnie's way, "crazy story, we sorta of boarded up his room and kicked him out of the house, because we thought he was bad luck."

"You thought he was bad luck?"

"Yeah we did, but Lisa thinks he was lying…(SMACK)

Lynn sentence was cut off by the tetherball having crashed into her face; she landed on the ground in a daze. Glaring up at Ronnie Anne she pointed an accusing finger at her.

"Hey, you did that on purpose!"

Ronnie Anne caught the tetherball, "wow yah think, and here I heard you were all brawn and no brains," she mocked Lynn. "What is wrong with you Louds? How can you talk about kicking your little bro out of the house like it's no big deal? And for such a stupid reason?"

Lynn didn't say anything

"Your family would be screwed if someone ratted on your goofy parents."

Lynn stood back to her feet and glared at Ronnie Anne. "Hey watch it Santiago"

Ronnie Anne buried her hands back into her hoodies pockets, "Whatever," she said before walking away without another word to Lynn.

Lynn contemplated going after Ronnie Anne and giving the girl a piece of her mind. However the sound of approaching sirens cut those thoughts immediately.

Shortly later an ambulance followed by a fire truck pulled into the school parking lot. Naturally kids gathered around to see what the commotion was about, including Lynn. As far as any of them knew, no kid looking to make a name for themself had pulled the fire alarm, otherwise it would be blaring at the moment.

The paramedics wasted no time in pulling out a stretcher and carting it through the school doors.

"So what do you think happened?" A tall lanky boy near Lynn asked another kid.

"I bet Mr. Hayworth throughout his back again," he answered with a chuckle. "Well at least I hope he did, that guy's the worst."

"I heard some kid fell down the stairs and broke his neck," another kid chimed in.

"Lire, how could you have heard anything, when you didn't know anything two seconds ago?"

Lynn rolled her eyes deciding to tune out the conversation the other kids were having. Speculating and spreading rumors was pointless, they'd have their answers soon enough.

"Make way!" Principal Huggins demanded. Trying to clear out a path through the students that had gathered at the front of the school. "As a matter of fact, get to your classes this isn't a show!"

Some kids reluctantly did what they were told while others chose to ignore their Principal entirely, much to his own chagrin.

Lynn being a bit more rebellious chose to stay as well. She would only be a couple minutes late for class, no big deal, besides she could see the paramedics were returning with the stretcher in tow. Even from a distance it was clear that there was someone on it with a respirator covering most of their face.

"Maybe some kid really did break his neck," She thought out loud.

"It's Lincoln."

Lynn nearly flew out of her skin, jumping a few feet into the air.

"Man Lucy, what did I tell you about sneaking up on me like that?" Lynn barked down at her younger sister. "You're going to give someone a heart attack one of these days.

(Sigh) "I've been standing here this entire time," Lucy deadpanned. "But like I was saying, it's Lincoln."

"Wha…Lincoln, and how would you know that?"

Lucy simply pointed a pale finger towards the stretcher. "The white hair is a dead giveaway, wouldn't you agree?"

"Omygosh you're right!" Lynn said before running to cut off the paramedics before they could finish loading the stretcher into the ambulance.

"Hey what happened to him?!" She demanded to know while trying to get into the back of the ambulance.

"Step back young lady," one of the paramedics ordered.

"But he's my little brother," Lynn argued as she found herself being pulled away by Principal Huggins.

"That's enough Ms. Loud," Principal Huggins stated. "There's nothing you can do here."

"But…" Lynn cast her head down as the ambulance and fire truck pulled off. "What the hell happened?"

Principal Huggins frowned, choosing to ignore Lynn's choice of words for the time being. "Seems your brother came to school pretty sick," he explained to Lynn and Lucy whom had made her way over as well." "He made quite the mess in Mrs. Johnson's classroom."

"Sick" Lynn muttered. "Kids get sent home where they eat chicken noodle soup and stay in bed when they get sick at school, not." She pointed towards the ambulance in the distance. "They don't get carted away in one of those."

Principal Huggins scratched his balding head. "There are different severities that determine that, Ms. Loud," he reasoned. "Lincoln wasn't even conscious, so we had to phone in an emergency."

"Gasp" Lucy remarked.

"He wasn't conscious?" Lynn repeated. "What do you mean he wasn't conscious?!" Lynn grabbed a hold of Principal Huggins shirt, and started to shake him fiercely. "I said what do you mean!"

"I… Listen," Principal Huggins said. "I'm not at liberty to discuss this with a student. You'll have to get more information from your parents. We'll be contacting and explaining all we know to them. Now get to class, the bell rang some time ago."

With no more to say Principal Huggins turned on his heels and left.

Lynn kicked a nearby can in anger, "I can't believe that old fart is keeping us in the dark."

"I'm worried about him too Lynn," Lucy said.

Lynn raised a brow in response. "You don't look it," she said, taking in Lucy's blasé expression.

"Trust me, this is my worried face," Lucy stated before she began to walk away.

"Hey Lucy, the school is that way," Lynn stated.

"I'm not going to school," Lucy explained. "The hospital shouldn't be a terrible bike ride away."

Lynn looked taken aback. "So you're just ditching?"

Lucy nodded. "I thought I told you, I was worried too."

Lynn grinned, "Well don't think you're going without me."

 **Sometime Later**

Mrs. Loud heart pounded as she sat nervously in the passenger seat of Vanzilla. It hadn't been long since that she'd received a call from the principal of Lincoln's school. Apparently Lincoln had fallen ill, and had been admitted to the hospital.

She very well knew whatever illness Lincoln had contracted, had been caused by his overnight stay in the backyard.

She cursed herself for being so foolish. She and Lynn sr. prided themselves in the freedom they gave their kids to figure out things on their own. This led them to often go along with their kids shenanigans. The latest of such was Lincoln's bad luck scheme.

Mrs. Loud knew her children as well as they knew themselves, and had figured out the game Lincoln was playing on the family almost immediately. He wanted to convince everyone that he was bad luck in order to get out of his sisters activities, well she and Mr. Loud decided that they would play along.

Not only would they allow him to get out of doing what Lincoln most likely thought were boring sister activities, but they'd also exclude him from the fun one's they'd planned themselves. They thought they would be drilling a point home to Lincoln, but as fate would have it, that plan backfired.

"How could I be so stupid?" Mrs. Loud muttered to herself. "Letting the girl's board up Lincoln's room, and forcing him out of the house? I should have drawn the line well before that."

Mr. Loud placed a hand on Mrs. Loud's leg. "It wasn't just you, this is every bit my fault too. I thought we were being clever, but in the end we were being the worst parents ever." Mr. Loud gripped the steering wheel so tight, his knuckles turned white. "What kind of person leaves their kid out in the cold to teach them a lesson, what the hell was I thinking?"

"I just hope Lincoln will forg…" Mrs. Loud paused. "Umm honey, is that Lucy and Lynn?"

Mr. Loud peered past his wife towards the sidewalk, where two young girls where pedaling their bikes fervently. "Yep, and they'd better have one heck of an excuse for not being in school," he said as he pulled his van over towards the sidewalk.

"Girls!" Mrs. Loud yelled out of the window.

Lucy and Lynn stopped, both of them looking surprised at having been caught by their parents.

"And just where do you two think you're heading?" Mrs. Loud asked.

"It'sLincolnhe'satthehospitalwewereworriedsoweditchedtoschooltogoweresorry," Lynn answered speaking so fast, it was barely comprehensible.

Mrs. Loud put her hand up to stop Lynn from speaking. "Okay I get it Lynn, and we'll discuss this later, but for now, just get in the van, we're in a hurry."

Lynn and Lucy simply nodded and loaded their bikes into the van, both choosing to sit in silence.

The ride to the hospital was uneventful. Pulling into the visitor's parking lot the four Louds hastily made their way inside, and to the reception desk.

"We're here to see a Lincoln Loud," Mr. Loud stated as calmly as he could to the receptionist.

A woman in her mid-thirties looked up at her four visitors. "Lincoln Loud," she muttered to herself while typing into her computer. "Relation?" she asked.

"Parent's, Rita Loud and Lynn Loud," Mrs. Loud answered back. "Our son was admitted about an hour ago."

The receptionist grabbed a desk phone, "I have a Mr. and Mrs. Loud here, uh huh, that's right."

Hanging up the phone she looked Mr. and Mrs. Loud over. "Your son is still in the ICU, and isn't ready for visitation."

"ICU?" Mrs. Loud echoed in surprise. "How bad is he?"

"Mam, you'll have to save your questions for the Doctor," the receptionist answered. "I suppose the doctor will be with you shortly. So if you would have a seat in the waiting area."

They nodded their understanding and began walking towards the area the receptionist had pointed too.

Lucy grabbed ahold and tugged on Mr. Louds pants as they walked. "What's the ICU?" she asked.

Mr. Loud had a look of worry in his eyes as he answered. "It means intensive care unit?" he said without another word.

Mrs. Loud looked up at nearby clock; it had been well over an hour since the receptionist had directed them to the waiting area and her patience was beginning to grow thin.

"This is getting ridiculous," she complained. "That woman said the doctor would be out here shortly, it's been over an hour."

"Maybe we should go ask what the holdup is," Lynn suggested.

Before any one of the now irate Loud's could make a move a professional looking woman approached them.

She wore a dark gray button up shirt with a maroon skirt, dark leggings and square framed glasses. Her hair was neatly tied into a bun.

"Mr and Mrs. Loud I presume?" she asked.

Both Mr. and Mrs. Loud stood immediately.

"We are," Mr. Loud answered. "Our son, how is he?"

"Just fine now. Although I'm told your son was running a high grade fever of 103, they had to put him on ice to get him down to a stable temperature." the woman answered.

Mrs. Loud covered her mouth in shock. "Oh my god."

"The doctor told me your son has a case of pneumonia that caused such a high fever," she continued. "They administered some antibiotics and he should be feeling much better in a day or so."

The Louds were quiet as they processed the new information.

Lynn was the first to speak. "So when can we see him?"

The woman looked down at Lynn with a sympathetic expression before turning her attention back to Mr. and Mrs. Loud.

"Listen my name is Rosario Rossow," she stated. "I work for MDHHS, or in other words, children's protective services."

Both Mr. Mrs. Loud eyes widened in alarm.

"Mr. and Mrs. Loud, I'm afraid we have a lot to discuss."

 **A/N: So what does this child services officer have to say to the Louds? Obviously nothing good, I'll catch you guys with the next chapter, deuces.**


End file.
